Today we’ll continue with Part 2 of How to Love your Wife Financially.  See Part 1 here!

6) Work hard to provide at least what’s needed for the family’s necessities. 

In the excellent book His Needs, Her Needs, Dr. Willard Harley outlines what he has discovered from multiple decades of marriage counseling.  He explains that in all of the marriages he’s seen break down, there was a failure of one spouse (or both) to meet a fundamental need in the other.  One of those needs for wives is financial security.

From Dr. Harley’s extensive experience, he states that most women don’t mind helping to supplement income if it allows the family to live at a higher standard of living.  But, he says, most women do not want to be the one providing for the basic needs of the family.  You can love your wife by working and maintaining a job that provides a basic level of necessities for your family.

7) Be willing to give up your conveniences for the financial good of the family.

Golf.  Hunting.  Boating.  Video games.  Guns.  The gym.  Your car.  Your motorcycle.  What hurts to think about giving up?  All of this stuff costs money.  Your hobbies cost money.  When things get tight, a willingness to give up some of your creature comforts goes a long way to show your wife that she is the most important thing to you.

Are you going to let your wife live in fear about your finances while you drive around on your motorcycle or go play golf with your buddies?  I pray not.

8) Trust her with the things you agree to let her manage.

Nancy said, “I feel loved when you trust me to handle our money.”  While I pay most of the bills (according to the budget plan that we agreed on), Nancy handles a lot of the cash flow in our envelope system.  She feels loved when I believe the best about the choices she’s made and trust her to execute what we decided.  Conversely, she doesn’t feel loved and trusted when I pore over her receipts if something goes wrong, looking for how it could have been done better.

9) Call her out (in love) when she deviates from what you both agreed to. 

Assuming you’ve done everything else in this list, you can call out your wife (in love) when she doesn’t do what you both agreed to do.  If she has been heard, respected, understood, trusted, and cherished in your finances, you are more than justified to call her out.  This being said, your financial plan has to be one you both agreed to, not one you thrust upon her without her consent.

Nancy also mentioned this in our talk. While she didn’t enjoy it when I addressed some of her spending, she appreciated me caring enough about our plan to share my concerns with her.

10) Buy her things.

I put this last because it’s the most obvious.  If you asked many men, “How do you love your wife financially?” they’d respond with this answer and have nothing else to share.  Buying things for her communicates volumes: It shows you’re thinking of her, you know what she likes, you care about her, you want her to enjoy life, and that she’s special to you.

Nancy added, “It doesn’t even have to be big.  I love the occasional, cheap bouquet from the grocery store.  It just shows you’re thinking of me.”  Gifts make anyone feel special.  What better person to make feel special than your wife?

There you have it.  Certainly this isn’t an exhaustive list, but maybe you found something that will help you to love your wife better.  Or, if you’re a wife, maybe you’re able to articulate your feelings to your husband a little better now.

Question: What are some other ways to love your wife with your money?  Would love to hear from both husbands and wives!

Many thanks to Graham Terhune for the image in this post!